Aquatic Fun

We went to the aquarium today. It was late but we managed to enjoy the trip. Emily absolutely loved the fish and such. It really got me wondering about life in the perspective of a baby. I mean everything is pretty routine so she has a basic understanding of how things are going to happen on a day to day basic but she doesn't know in depth of why it happens. It just does. So when you throw something like a huge wall of glass holding back tons of water and swimming creatures, it's sure to throw someone who is new to the world at a loop. Babies are a great sport though. Something is different but they take it all in with smiles. Of course it helps if Mom and Dad are there to help boost her confidence.

We also had a tornado warning today. I was worried that I'd have to drag Emily out of bed and hide in the downstairs closet with her but our area cleared up pretty quick. My prayers go out to the cities and towns recovering from the strike and anybody who lost someone or something dear to them.

Cloth Diapers

I am proud to say that I use cloth diapers with Emily. It started when she was about 5 months old and I just got tired of running out of diapers and spending so much money. I was feeling the stress of the cost of disposables and it was overwhelming. My husband was not originally in support of the idea. He came home one day and I told him it was happening and I did it. Now he loves it. He loves the money we save and he understands how they work and everything.

I can be pushy about cloth diapering for other people though. I have a kind that I enjoy and sometimes I do find myself judging ladies who use the disposable liners. For me it was a money thing so I have a difficult time wrapping my head around the non-financial aspect of it. I have to take a step back and realize that it's not just about money but also about saving the environment.

I also have a tendency to push the idea on people whether it's for them or not. I have a friend who is expecting her second baby and I jumped at the idea that she was going to try cloth diapers. I went ahead and spent about 100 dollars on diapers for her. Then she told me that she had changed her mind. She said she wold take the diapers from me and use them in case she runs out of disposables one day. My happiness was shot down. I had planned a ginormous diaper cake for her made of beautiful cloth and now we're giving her a cake made of two tiers of disposables and one tier of cloth inserts and I'll be giving her the covers on the side. It was devastating. I realize though that it's my fault. I really should not have gotten so excited about it and jumped the gun. She did say that she would give the diapers back if she didn't use them. If that's the case I'll be owning three more diapers and be giving away a fourth to someone I know needs it.

Life As We Know It

Life doesn't always begin at conception or when you are born. Sometimes life doesn't get exciting until you find a reason to live it. Instead of going into my whole life story, let's just skip to the fun part where mine began.

Monday May 17th 2010, I was told I was going to be induced. I did not want to be induced and had told them after they called me to tell me I was going to be induced that I would rather have an appointment to discuss this decision that could effect my baby. I received a call back telling me to go to the hospital so I figured maybe my doctor would just talk to me about the process there. So Monday morning I call the hospital like I was supposed to and apparently they were informed to cancel my induction date which would be a blessing if I hadn't gotten my mother in law and her family to come two states up to witness the birth of my first child. So, mother in law being the anxious grandma, takes me to wamart (I was bawling over the stupid hospital thing) and tells me I was going to walk the baby out. So she made me walk for like an hour which really does no good when your cervix isn't open. You can have all the contractions in the entire world but labor doesn't get going until your cervix softens and opens up a little. Anyways, I decided the baby wasn't moving enough and we went to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and decided there was not enough amniotic fluid and that I would indeed have to be induced.

I had heard nightmare stories about pitocin stressing labor and being extremely painful so this was not the route I wanted to go.  Wouldn't have mattered because like I said my cervix wasn't opening at all. So theck some cervidell up there and told me it could take up to 12 hours. We had time. My mother in law in the same room decided that it was her time to spend with her son. She insisted that he could not eat the snacks we brought for him in front of me (even though I said he could) and dragged him off to a restaurant. Well, while they were gone, it started to get exciting. My baby's heart rate dropped drastically. A nurse came in to tell me that I could not deliver the baby vaginally and that I would be having a c-section. Suddenly there was a flood of doctors all around me and my mom had called Jason and they had barely made it. His mom was at the foot of my bed telling me how much she loved me (even though before this time she had wanted her son to break up with me).

They rushed me into the OR and gave me my spinal. The effects took over immediately but I was still scared. I kept asking for Jason and finally he came to my side as they were cutting me open. It got quiet and I heard the doctor say something about a girl then I heard the most beautiful sound in my life. My baby let out the biggest cry ever and she sounded amazing. Relief washed over me and suddenly I didn't care that my guts were displayed to the world because she was here and she sounded amazing. They cleaned her off and Jason brought her to me and she was beautiful. This chaotic moment out of all the moments in my entire life was the best. I became less apathetic and now had a purpose. I was living for her now and wanted nothing more but to give her her every desire. My recovery went well and nearly 11 months later, though we've hit some bumps in this road, I look at my daughter and am still amazed that she is mine. She is healthy, beautiful and has been given the name I've always desired for a little girl. She is my Emily. My world. My life.