I never win...

That's a huge disappointment. I enter contests a lot. I work as hard as I can in hopes that I'll be one of the many who entered who get something out of it. Recently Ergo was doing a giveaway on their facebook page. For the month of August they were giving away an Ergo a day. I had high hopes for this contest. I needed a carrier now that Alice is living with us. Well August has gone by and I don't have an Ergo. There are thirty people with a free Ergo, but I am not one of them.

That's disappointing. Ergos are expensive and I can't afford one. I needed one. I was betting on my luck. I mean certainly I needed an Ergo more than all those other women who entered. But the odds were not in my favor. It's so disheartening to lose.

I've come to realize though, I am not a loser. There are many things that I've won in life. I didn't need to enter a contest to win them either. I have a beautiful daughter that I can afford to meet her needs. I have a space to live where I can be comfortable. I have clothing that fits and is clean. Somewhere in life, I won the living lottery and it shows in the smiles on Alice and Emily's face, in my husband's warm hugs, in my own self satisfaction that after a long and tiring day I've made it.

Guess what? I got my carrier. It's not an Ergo. It's a Boba and in the end, it worked out better because apparently Boba's are more comfortable for larger toddlers. Maybe it wasn't given to me by the people at Ergo but it was bought for me (used) by my husband who knows I work hard and appreciates that more than anyone at Ergo can ever do.

It's okay that I get disappointed in never winning. I don't need to win. Actually sometimes I need to lose because if I won all the time, I would never be able to appreciate what I have and the hard work that gets me what I want.

I'm the mom of two...

Well not really. Currently I'm taking care of an 18 month old and it's a whole new experience for me. Her name is Alice.

I've had this preconceived idea on any second child I would bring into the world. I want more children but I feel like it would be so different than my first. Emily is such a sweet child and she's so easy to deal with. I felt like a second child would be my hard one. I'm learning though that this isn't necessarily the case.

Alice and Emily have some major differences. Emily is very independent and Alice loves to be cuddled. Emily is calm and doesn't get upset easily, Alice is fairly easy to set off. Emily has developed a way to play and share with other kids at an early age and Alice is still developing socially.

 (Alice is not sure of Emily)

These differences are probably tied into how she was raised. I feel like Alice was less exposed to other children and her parents had a little less patience. Alice's father is also staying with us (I watch her during the day while he goes to work with my husband). His style is a lot different than mine. I am very lenient I think and don't spank the kids.

Given Alice's differences I should be having a harder time and I'll admit it is no walk in the park. I realize though, that kids are different but raising them doesn't have to be more stressful. I've also come to realize that my own personal parenting style may be the thing that has made parenting Emily so easy. It's not necessarily the baby but my own attitude.

This makes sense. Children can sense your feelings and it sort of ties into your own feelings. When you're stressed, they get worried too. If you're calm and peaceful, they settle down easier. They are also more calm and less stressed. This is a difficult zen to reach sometimes though because parenting can wear on you. 

There are a few things I remind myself when the children are cranky and I'm at my wit's end. There communication skills aren't fully developed. They can't tell me what's wrong and that frustrates them and it frustrates me. I feel like screaming, "What's wrong with you!?" I also have to remind myself they don't have a full understanding as to how the world works. When I tell them no, they don't fully understand why and how do you go in depth as to why you can't play in the toilet? They won't understand you completely. The toilet just seems like a fun thing to play in and suddenly I'm telling them no with seemingly no valid reason. They don't understand what germs are or how gross it is. 

Children are also curious beings. They get into everything because they are still exploring their world. They are still trying to figure everything out and without the complex thinking skills, all they have to work with is their sensory. They touch, they taste, they smell and they look. They absorb through the most annoying things. So while I don't want my child licking the bench at the park, it's going to happen because that's how she explores. I can't be mad at that.

(Emily chowing on strawberries we were supposed to be picking.)

So while there are major differences in the kids, they are still somewhat the same developmentally and all I need to do to keep happy is keep going with what has been working, and that's looking through a toddler's eyes to explain the why's that frustrate most parents.

When you think like a toddler, you learn to deal with toddlers.